the injection itself didn't hurt but as soon as I was in the chair resting, as I am required to do after each one, it started to hurt... thankfully, the xanax knocked me out shortly after I got home which I think is a savior nowadays.
today was the day after the injection....by far the worst day of pain i have had in a long time. not welcomed. very frustrating! from shooting pains down my legs to pain with every step i took to aching in my legs to tingling in the majority of my body........tears of pain and frustration.....
i just want it all to stop!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Back to square...let's say 2.
Well, after feeling like there was absolutely no hope and no where to turn, there seems to be a plan. At least something in the meantime.
Dr. B suggest I return to Dr. R (spine physiatrist and pain consultant) and see what he felt my options were moving forward to at least help with the pain. After the typical month-long wait, I met w/ him Nov. 18. I met at length with his assistant first in order to go over all the stuff that's gone on since I had seen them last in August... and her jaw dropped when I told her that my insurance denied surgery. Shocked! After her part was done, Dr. R came in. He was reading the notes that J and I had just done and I mentioned to him the insurance denial and he stopped mid sentence, WHAT?!?! He said, and I quote, "I will get them. I take this very serious." He said he would treat me in the meantime, while working to get the surgery approved. He was going to research the issue and get them. I went back to work and faxed him over all the insurance denial information and the insurance guidelines for a fusion surgery.
Plan: another round of epidural spinal steroid injections
When: Nov 22, Dec 6, Dec 20
When I went to the first injection, he said that he had done some research and found that Anthem was pushing back hard on back surgeries because they feel they are done entirely too much nowadays and that there were already National Boards involved...so his research was quick and the boards, I believe, are taking over from there. He said, "Enjoy your Thanksgiving and don't worry about the insurance at all." So, that's what I've done :)
The injections can take 3-10 days to work. . .and from what I can tell thru today, so far I haven't felt any changes. Maybe after the next one, I'll feel more relief. Until then, I just keep managing it the best I can and seeing where things go!
Oh, the appeal that I was going to write will not be finished. I started writing the letter (because the website STILL will not allow it to be done online) didn't get very far because I needed specifics...so I requested my medical records from Neurological Assoc. Once I got those, I still didn't have anything I could use to meet the insurance's guidelines so I don't feel there is any point.....and it was the same day I met w/ Dr. R and since he is fighting for me, I am ok in letting him do the appeal work, rather than my meaningless attempt.
Fingers crossed something gets done to get me whatever needs done to help this pain!
Dr. B suggest I return to Dr. R (spine physiatrist and pain consultant) and see what he felt my options were moving forward to at least help with the pain. After the typical month-long wait, I met w/ him Nov. 18. I met at length with his assistant first in order to go over all the stuff that's gone on since I had seen them last in August... and her jaw dropped when I told her that my insurance denied surgery. Shocked! After her part was done, Dr. R came in. He was reading the notes that J and I had just done and I mentioned to him the insurance denial and he stopped mid sentence, WHAT?!?! He said, and I quote, "I will get them. I take this very serious." He said he would treat me in the meantime, while working to get the surgery approved. He was going to research the issue and get them. I went back to work and faxed him over all the insurance denial information and the insurance guidelines for a fusion surgery.
Plan: another round of epidural spinal steroid injections
When: Nov 22, Dec 6, Dec 20
When I went to the first injection, he said that he had done some research and found that Anthem was pushing back hard on back surgeries because they feel they are done entirely too much nowadays and that there were already National Boards involved...so his research was quick and the boards, I believe, are taking over from there. He said, "Enjoy your Thanksgiving and don't worry about the insurance at all." So, that's what I've done :)
The injections can take 3-10 days to work. . .and from what I can tell thru today, so far I haven't felt any changes. Maybe after the next one, I'll feel more relief. Until then, I just keep managing it the best I can and seeing where things go!
Oh, the appeal that I was going to write will not be finished. I started writing the letter (because the website STILL will not allow it to be done online) didn't get very far because I needed specifics...so I requested my medical records from Neurological Assoc. Once I got those, I still didn't have anything I could use to meet the insurance's guidelines so I don't feel there is any point.....and it was the same day I met w/ Dr. R and since he is fighting for me, I am ok in letting him do the appeal work, rather than my meaningless attempt.
Fingers crossed something gets done to get me whatever needs done to help this pain!
Friday, October 15, 2010
Remaining broken...
Finding out surgery was denied when there were 2 days left of the countdown was hard to take...but there was an ounce of hope. A peer-to-peer review was requested from the insurnace co with my surgeon, who normally doesn't participate in them. When the countdown hit 1...the peer review was done. . .and yet, they still denied it. Surgery was cancelled. All post op appts cancelled.
Simply put, I'm completely devastated. I've cried for three days. I'm angry. I'm numb. I'm lost. Totally at a loss on the moving forward.
Right now, I should be in the hospital, recovering from an extensive surgery. Nine months ago today, I was in the hospital recovering from my first lumbar surgery. But instead, I'm sitting in my own bed, eyes drained of all my tears, completely lost. I don't even know how to describe what I feel right now.
I've spent the last two days trying to file an appeal online, which I'm told, is my right. However, their site doesn't load that page. I've talked to customer service and technical support - been told I can file an appeal online and that i can't.... I've lost all patience w/ this insurance company, their employees, and the website. So I search online to learn how to write an appeal, since I was counting on the website to give me guidance, as I've never had an issue w/ my ins. co. before. Talk about overwhelming...didn't leave me with any hope, and I didn't have much to begin with anyway. But I did learn that I needed the denial letter to write the appeal so I could include specifics. So I waited....well, just so happens it came today. DATED LAST FRIDAY!!!!!!!! Just pour more salt in my already deep wound. Knowing what I learned online, and reading the letter...there's little hope, or if I'm being completely honest, none at all that anything i write is going to change the mind of my insurance co who denied it before and AFTER speaking to my surgeon.
My head spins. . . .to think that I've spent the last 5 months waiting for this very day. Today, October 15th, I was to have my best shot at relief from the daily pain I've been living with for the last 18 months. I went to my doctor appts, MRI, waited for results, was subjected to the MOST EXCRUCIATING PAIN EVER with the discogram and waited weeks for results and then longer to find out the plan...then waited another month for today to come.... for what?????????? Absolutely NOTHING! Instead, not only do I have more pain than I did in May...but I have no forseeable options for relief. The surgeon has her hands tied and cannot provide me the option she feels is best for my recovery. She's done w/ my treatment completely. I now wait for Dr. R to get my message next week to see if there is anything that he can do to attempt to alleviate the pain. (Dr. R is the pain physiatrist who did the discogram who specializes in non-surgical pain treatments) Dr. B recommended I call him to see what he might come up with but wasn't sure he would be much help, as he is the one that sent me back to her after the positive discogram, recommending the fusion surgery. At this point, Dr. R seems to be the only hope that I have for relief. The thought of temporary treatments for pain is not ideal to me, when the underlying problem cannot be fixed.
Maybe something will happen and I won't suffer from this forever. Maybe there is a good reason for this denial and cancellation of the relief I was hoping for. But right now, I don't see anything positive. Living everyday with chronic pain that limits me from doing things I enjoy is unacceptable....and it more than angers me to think that the insurance company can overrule the recommendations of two neurosurgeons and a pain physiatrist. Living on pain pills and muscle relaxers to function is not the quality of life I deserve...but thanks to Anthem, that's what I'm left with now.
Back to square 1. . . .completely lost!
Simply put, I'm completely devastated. I've cried for three days. I'm angry. I'm numb. I'm lost. Totally at a loss on the moving forward.
Right now, I should be in the hospital, recovering from an extensive surgery. Nine months ago today, I was in the hospital recovering from my first lumbar surgery. But instead, I'm sitting in my own bed, eyes drained of all my tears, completely lost. I don't even know how to describe what I feel right now.
I've spent the last two days trying to file an appeal online, which I'm told, is my right. However, their site doesn't load that page. I've talked to customer service and technical support - been told I can file an appeal online and that i can't.... I've lost all patience w/ this insurance company, their employees, and the website. So I search online to learn how to write an appeal, since I was counting on the website to give me guidance, as I've never had an issue w/ my ins. co. before. Talk about overwhelming...didn't leave me with any hope, and I didn't have much to begin with anyway. But I did learn that I needed the denial letter to write the appeal so I could include specifics. So I waited....well, just so happens it came today. DATED LAST FRIDAY!!!!!!!! Just pour more salt in my already deep wound. Knowing what I learned online, and reading the letter...there's little hope, or if I'm being completely honest, none at all that anything i write is going to change the mind of my insurance co who denied it before and AFTER speaking to my surgeon.
My head spins. . . .to think that I've spent the last 5 months waiting for this very day. Today, October 15th, I was to have my best shot at relief from the daily pain I've been living with for the last 18 months. I went to my doctor appts, MRI, waited for results, was subjected to the MOST EXCRUCIATING PAIN EVER with the discogram and waited weeks for results and then longer to find out the plan...then waited another month for today to come.... for what?????????? Absolutely NOTHING! Instead, not only do I have more pain than I did in May...but I have no forseeable options for relief. The surgeon has her hands tied and cannot provide me the option she feels is best for my recovery. She's done w/ my treatment completely. I now wait for Dr. R to get my message next week to see if there is anything that he can do to attempt to alleviate the pain. (Dr. R is the pain physiatrist who did the discogram who specializes in non-surgical pain treatments) Dr. B recommended I call him to see what he might come up with but wasn't sure he would be much help, as he is the one that sent me back to her after the positive discogram, recommending the fusion surgery. At this point, Dr. R seems to be the only hope that I have for relief. The thought of temporary treatments for pain is not ideal to me, when the underlying problem cannot be fixed.
Maybe something will happen and I won't suffer from this forever. Maybe there is a good reason for this denial and cancellation of the relief I was hoping for. But right now, I don't see anything positive. Living everyday with chronic pain that limits me from doing things I enjoy is unacceptable....and it more than angers me to think that the insurance company can overrule the recommendations of two neurosurgeons and a pain physiatrist. Living on pain pills and muscle relaxers to function is not the quality of life I deserve...but thanks to Anthem, that's what I'm left with now.
Back to square 1. . . .completely lost!
Saturday, October 9, 2010
the Final Countdown...
Well, just 5 more days until surgery!! Pre-op appt is done and cleared for surgery. Brace fitting is done and the two-colored blue brace is just waiting (and I didn't pick the color, despite what everyone thinks LOL, it just worked out perfectly). Meet n greet w/ Dr. D (surgeon and hardware expert who will be assisting Dr. B this time around) is done. I am more at ease with the upcoming surgery, now that I know the details of what's to come.
Here's what Dr. D shared w/ me. . . .
Dr. B will be removing 3 bones in my spine that will allow for decompression and relieve the pain in my legs (which was tremendous news as that gets to be the worst by the end of the day). The side bones that stick out (don't know their names) will be shaved a bit in order to signal to my body to generate new bones. Dr. D will put rods in that will line my spine, attached to the bones with 8 BLUE titanium screws in order to stabalize the 3 level area, so that it no longer has the ability to move. Because there will be tremendous pressure in the area(just by normal living), they have to fuse the area w/ bone in order to prevent the rods/screws from breaking over time. This is done by grinding up the 3 bones that were removed and adding it to the good parts (minerals, etc) of cadaver bones until a 'putty' is formed. This will be placed in between the bones and allow for the fusion to take place.
The surgery has 3 purposes...decompression, fixation, and fusion in 3 levels (L3/L4, L4/L5, and L5/S1). Because of the invasiveness of this surgery, I will be in the hospital for 2-3 days to manage the pain and such. I will be walking before leaving the hospital. My brace is for times where I'm up and moving about. I don't have to wear it when I'm sleeping or even necessarily when I'm sitting and watching tv, per se. I need to wear it a bit more this week to get used to it...don't need to be healing from this surgery and getting used to the brace at the same time. I'm a pro at getting it on and off so that helps. I could be wearing it for 8wks, 12 wks...it all really depends on how quickly I heal. After I do heal, then i will start PT again, to recondition my body for movement. It's not used for pain management post-op this time, as it was after my first surgery. So I won't be starting that for a couple months.
I have been ok'd (by the nurse LOL) to work from home beginning 11/1 so I don't have to go too long on disability income. However, I won't be returning to the office for approximately 6 months it sounds like. I'm not gonna know anyone when I get back! That's such a long time but they want to be sure that I'm healed and ready to return to sitting for long periods of time.
After this week of appointments, I feel I'm ready for surgery (as well as I can be). Just ready for the relief that I'm praying this brings to me!
let the countdown begin.... 5....4....3....2....1......
Here's what Dr. D shared w/ me. . . .
Dr. B will be removing 3 bones in my spine that will allow for decompression and relieve the pain in my legs (which was tremendous news as that gets to be the worst by the end of the day). The side bones that stick out (don't know their names) will be shaved a bit in order to signal to my body to generate new bones. Dr. D will put rods in that will line my spine, attached to the bones with 8 BLUE titanium screws in order to stabalize the 3 level area, so that it no longer has the ability to move. Because there will be tremendous pressure in the area(just by normal living), they have to fuse the area w/ bone in order to prevent the rods/screws from breaking over time. This is done by grinding up the 3 bones that were removed and adding it to the good parts (minerals, etc) of cadaver bones until a 'putty' is formed. This will be placed in between the bones and allow for the fusion to take place.
The surgery has 3 purposes...decompression, fixation, and fusion in 3 levels (L3/L4, L4/L5, and L5/S1). Because of the invasiveness of this surgery, I will be in the hospital for 2-3 days to manage the pain and such. I will be walking before leaving the hospital. My brace is for times where I'm up and moving about. I don't have to wear it when I'm sleeping or even necessarily when I'm sitting and watching tv, per se. I need to wear it a bit more this week to get used to it...don't need to be healing from this surgery and getting used to the brace at the same time. I'm a pro at getting it on and off so that helps. I could be wearing it for 8wks, 12 wks...it all really depends on how quickly I heal. After I do heal, then i will start PT again, to recondition my body for movement. It's not used for pain management post-op this time, as it was after my first surgery. So I won't be starting that for a couple months.
I have been ok'd (by the nurse LOL) to work from home beginning 11/1 so I don't have to go too long on disability income. However, I won't be returning to the office for approximately 6 months it sounds like. I'm not gonna know anyone when I get back! That's such a long time but they want to be sure that I'm healed and ready to return to sitting for long periods of time.
After this week of appointments, I feel I'm ready for surgery (as well as I can be). Just ready for the relief that I'm praying this brings to me!
let the countdown begin.... 5....4....3....2....1......
Saturday, September 11, 2010
because I've neglected this....updates
Wow, it's been a while since I have posted...and even longer since I updated about the neverending pain of the broken back.
After meeting with Dr. R...the discogram was scheduled and then moved up a week, to July 23rd. Never in a million years could I have ever EVER prepared myself for what I was about to endure. After getting up at 3:45am to make the hour drive to Marion, OH for the test, I'm as ready as I think I can be. The staff was great and I was first on the list for the day. Just get it over with. . . .WOW! The 4 needles were placed in each of the 4 discs being tested and it began...well, I didn't even know he really started because I didn't feel anything with the first disc...aka, no issues there. Then, hell was just seconds away! I had no sedatives as I needed to be able to feel the pain to let the dr know . . . the 2nd disc was done (L3/L4) and I remember saying "8, 9, 10, 12" as the pain just kept increasing. It was like an extremely painful spinal steroid injection that kept getting worse until it was almost like I was being crushed from the lower back and down. The next one (L4/L5)- I'd rather die than ever experience that again. I immediately screamed, burst into tears and jerked as if I was trying to jump off the table...just a reflex from being in that much pain - who wouldn't try to get away from it?? He says "I think we know where the problem is." They quickly tried to calm me as best as one can consoling someone who feels as if they are being crushed by a semi...and he continues to do the last one (L5/S1) and I cry harder and scream again. ...and it's over. Demerol is quickly injected into my IV and I start to feel a bit of relief...as I'm forced to switch to another bed to take me to "recovery" where they remove the IV and I get dressed....all done w/in 15minutes as I need a CT scan before the dye has too much time to disappear. I was able to walk out of the surgery center and head down to the Imaging center (of course Trina was driving) and had the CT scan done right away. Painless of course...then the hour drive back home! We stopped for breakfast and I spent the rest of the day in bed! Too many possible side effects from the procedure - all of which I wanted to avoid! I was fairly successful in that but I recovered nicely, in comparison to what I was just put through! WOW, recreating the pain? That's as misleading as it gets! I've never felt pain like that, nor do I ever want to again!
The next step was back to Dr. R's office for the results, August 17th. I'll never forget it...he opened my file and started reading the report out loud and just as soon as he did, he stopped and just read silently, shaking his head! Never a good sign! Clearly, I knew the results due to the reaction of the test. Positive at the bottom 3 levels tested. His recommendation: "extensive three level fusion surgery". NOT what I wanted to hear...but, exactly what I expected! If the point of the test was to determine where the pain was coming from to know where to fuse...I just expected it and tried to prepare myself for hearing it. He shook my hand, wished me luck, and sent me on my way! Back to the surgeon again. . . . .
Back to Dr. B...she was not happy with the results, but went over my results a bit and talked about the options. Ha, if you really want to call them that. Option 1: do the 3 level fusion which is never ideal because they don't like to do more than one or two fusions because of all the added pressure put on those discs above and below..but in my case, three need fused and though it's not complicated to do it, it's just not a great situation. Option 2: pain management (which isn't working now and hasn't been through it all). Trina and I asked all the questions we could think of being in the moment...as when in the office, all the information makes my brain spin outta control and I can't think too clearly - especially in this instance. Some of the answers: 3-6 month recovery easily. 2-3 day hospital stay minimum, longer if complications/infection. mobility wouldn't be much different than what it is now, just because I can't do much bending with the pain. cannot do just two fusions because there is pain in all three and it wouldn't be a good idea. the three discs will be removed completely, filled with bone graft, hardware put in place. back brace. two neurosurgeons would be doing the surgery, Dr. B and her partner Dr. D, who is the hardware expert. 30% chance of future surgeries due to the added pressure on the surrounding discs. no guarantee this will rid me of all of the pain. (there might have been more but that's what I recall now..). Then it was time to hang out while they called the insurance company and then we sat down w/ the scheduler and worked out all the details.
Surgery: Oct 15. Next appt: Oct 5 for the brace fitting and meeting with Dr. D about the hardware. Post op appt: Nov 15. Xrays need to be done prior to ensure the grafts/hardware is in place.
I left the appt w/ my head spinning. I never dreamed that it would all be so difficult to process. I had a busy evening so I didn't have time to really think about it. However, the next day, it hit me hard! I spent many tearful days trying to figure out if I was doing the right thing. I'm not sure if I really even have that answer still but I'm moving forward with the decision. As days pass, I spend more time planning and preparing for the surgery and recovery, getting help lined up and the house post-op-friendly since I won't be able to reach/bend for some time. Maybe the planning will help prepare me for the actual surgery, or at least help keep my mind busy.
So with 34 days left until surgery, I will keep preparing for it physically and mentally. I know it will be here before I know it!!!
Til then, there are Colts games to attend (season tickets ROCK), softball games to watch (no more playing for me...a BIG hurdle to mentally overcome), family to see, and friends to hang out with.
Live each day to the fullest! It's times like this that it really hits home!
After meeting with Dr. R...the discogram was scheduled and then moved up a week, to July 23rd. Never in a million years could I have ever EVER prepared myself for what I was about to endure. After getting up at 3:45am to make the hour drive to Marion, OH for the test, I'm as ready as I think I can be. The staff was great and I was first on the list for the day. Just get it over with. . . .WOW! The 4 needles were placed in each of the 4 discs being tested and it began...well, I didn't even know he really started because I didn't feel anything with the first disc...aka, no issues there. Then, hell was just seconds away! I had no sedatives as I needed to be able to feel the pain to let the dr know . . . the 2nd disc was done (L3/L4) and I remember saying "8, 9, 10, 12" as the pain just kept increasing. It was like an extremely painful spinal steroid injection that kept getting worse until it was almost like I was being crushed from the lower back and down. The next one (L4/L5)- I'd rather die than ever experience that again. I immediately screamed, burst into tears and jerked as if I was trying to jump off the table...just a reflex from being in that much pain - who wouldn't try to get away from it?? He says "I think we know where the problem is." They quickly tried to calm me as best as one can consoling someone who feels as if they are being crushed by a semi...and he continues to do the last one (L5/S1) and I cry harder and scream again. ...and it's over. Demerol is quickly injected into my IV and I start to feel a bit of relief...as I'm forced to switch to another bed to take me to "recovery" where they remove the IV and I get dressed....all done w/in 15minutes as I need a CT scan before the dye has too much time to disappear. I was able to walk out of the surgery center and head down to the Imaging center (of course Trina was driving) and had the CT scan done right away. Painless of course...then the hour drive back home! We stopped for breakfast and I spent the rest of the day in bed! Too many possible side effects from the procedure - all of which I wanted to avoid! I was fairly successful in that but I recovered nicely, in comparison to what I was just put through! WOW, recreating the pain? That's as misleading as it gets! I've never felt pain like that, nor do I ever want to again!
The next step was back to Dr. R's office for the results, August 17th. I'll never forget it...he opened my file and started reading the report out loud and just as soon as he did, he stopped and just read silently, shaking his head! Never a good sign! Clearly, I knew the results due to the reaction of the test. Positive at the bottom 3 levels tested. His recommendation: "extensive three level fusion surgery". NOT what I wanted to hear...but, exactly what I expected! If the point of the test was to determine where the pain was coming from to know where to fuse...I just expected it and tried to prepare myself for hearing it. He shook my hand, wished me luck, and sent me on my way! Back to the surgeon again. . . . .
Back to Dr. B...she was not happy with the results, but went over my results a bit and talked about the options. Ha, if you really want to call them that. Option 1: do the 3 level fusion which is never ideal because they don't like to do more than one or two fusions because of all the added pressure put on those discs above and below..but in my case, three need fused and though it's not complicated to do it, it's just not a great situation. Option 2: pain management (which isn't working now and hasn't been through it all). Trina and I asked all the questions we could think of being in the moment...as when in the office, all the information makes my brain spin outta control and I can't think too clearly - especially in this instance. Some of the answers: 3-6 month recovery easily. 2-3 day hospital stay minimum, longer if complications/infection. mobility wouldn't be much different than what it is now, just because I can't do much bending with the pain. cannot do just two fusions because there is pain in all three and it wouldn't be a good idea. the three discs will be removed completely, filled with bone graft, hardware put in place. back brace. two neurosurgeons would be doing the surgery, Dr. B and her partner Dr. D, who is the hardware expert. 30% chance of future surgeries due to the added pressure on the surrounding discs. no guarantee this will rid me of all of the pain. (there might have been more but that's what I recall now..). Then it was time to hang out while they called the insurance company and then we sat down w/ the scheduler and worked out all the details.
Surgery: Oct 15. Next appt: Oct 5 for the brace fitting and meeting with Dr. D about the hardware. Post op appt: Nov 15. Xrays need to be done prior to ensure the grafts/hardware is in place.
I left the appt w/ my head spinning. I never dreamed that it would all be so difficult to process. I had a busy evening so I didn't have time to really think about it. However, the next day, it hit me hard! I spent many tearful days trying to figure out if I was doing the right thing. I'm not sure if I really even have that answer still but I'm moving forward with the decision. As days pass, I spend more time planning and preparing for the surgery and recovery, getting help lined up and the house post-op-friendly since I won't be able to reach/bend for some time. Maybe the planning will help prepare me for the actual surgery, or at least help keep my mind busy.
So with 34 days left until surgery, I will keep preparing for it physically and mentally. I know it will be here before I know it!!!
Til then, there are Colts games to attend (season tickets ROCK), softball games to watch (no more playing for me...a BIG hurdle to mentally overcome), family to see, and friends to hang out with.
Live each day to the fullest! It's times like this that it really hits home!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Derrick - Class of 2010
Where did the time go? I remember vividly the day that Derrick was born. I've watched my first nephew grow up from a adorable little baby to a handsome young man. Wow, what a great individual he has become in the last 18 years!! I'm so proud of all that he has done so far and look forward to all that is in store for him as he starts the next chapter in his life.
At awards night, he racked up some class awards and scholarship money totalling over $32k! How cool!!!!! I watched him get his honors for his academics, as well as athletics. With each accomplishment, I became even more proud (and I didn't think that was possible). After the program, he even posed for pics ;)
Then....came graduation! WOW, I knew it was going to be emotional but I was quite unprepared for how it was going to affect me. WATERWORKS started the second the band started playing Pomp and Circumstance. Derrick was the second graduate in from the left, walking w/ the class Salutatorian. So many emotions flooded me while I watched him head to his seat...and I just couldn't take my eyes off of him. In his short amount of time on this earth, he has been through and experienced so much...the loss of his mom, being adopted by his other mom, becoming a big brother, moving from grade school to high school, from South Newton to North Newton, and keeping his grades up, just to name a few. Such a remarkable young man to go through it all with the kindest of hearts and a smile that can melt anyone!..two traits he most definitely got from his mom!!! This should all bring a smile to my face...and it does, thru the tears! Words just don't do justice to the feelings and emotions inside...so I'll just end w/ pictures!
I'm, without a doubt, the absolute proudest aunt on this earth! Congratulations Derrick and cheers to the next chapter!!
At awards night, he racked up some class awards and scholarship money totalling over $32k! How cool!!!!! I watched him get his honors for his academics, as well as athletics. With each accomplishment, I became even more proud (and I didn't think that was possible). After the program, he even posed for pics ;)
Then....came graduation! WOW, I knew it was going to be emotional but I was quite unprepared for how it was going to affect me. WATERWORKS started the second the band started playing Pomp and Circumstance. Derrick was the second graduate in from the left, walking w/ the class Salutatorian. So many emotions flooded me while I watched him head to his seat...and I just couldn't take my eyes off of him. In his short amount of time on this earth, he has been through and experienced so much...the loss of his mom, being adopted by his other mom, becoming a big brother, moving from grade school to high school, from South Newton to North Newton, and keeping his grades up, just to name a few. Such a remarkable young man to go through it all with the kindest of hearts and a smile that can melt anyone!..two traits he most definitely got from his mom!!! This should all bring a smile to my face...and it does, thru the tears! Words just don't do justice to the feelings and emotions inside...so I'll just end w/ pictures!
I'm, without a doubt, the absolute proudest aunt on this earth! Congratulations Derrick and cheers to the next chapter!!
Friday, June 11, 2010
another Back Update...
Well, I went back to work after 12w2d off post-op. I had been feeling better and didn't want to wait an additional two weeks for my next follow up with Dr. B. so I called and got what I needed faxed to work so that I could return.
Work was work when I returned...some things never change. However, pain started to increase sitting there for hours and hours. I was questioning the return to work - however, I guess it had to be done.
Therapy continued...I went to my follow up appt at the end of April in which it was determined that because there was still pain, another MRI would be done. They are usually repeated 3-4 months post-op if needed, which was the time frame I was in. May 15th, it was finally scheduled, and I got it done. I asked my referring dr to look at the results because I wasn't sure how long it would be before I heard from the surgeon (I had no followups scheduled-to my knowledge). Dr. D. looked at it and said there was still healing, no more stenosis, scar tissue but overall, there was improvement over my pre-op MRI. I thought, GREAT! So, I called Dr. B's nurse to see if I could get my results. She returned my call and said I had an appt May 27, that Dr. B didn't give results over the phone.....however, I knew nothing of that appt. So, I went in on the 27th and was prepared for good news, to hear just keep doing what I was doing and eventually the pain would stop. Boy, was I wrong!!
I saw her assistant again, which was fine because I always seem to have more time w/ her when I see her. While waiting in the room, I hard Dr. M. outside looking over the MRI results and possibly explaining what she was seeing to someone else. I could tell instantly that there wasn't going to be good news coming my way. She talked about how there were issues in multiple levels...just nothing positive. When she came in, she asked about PT and pain and such. About the only word that sticks in my head from the appt was "fusion/s". Fusions aren't something that I would have ever anticipated and it seems pretty scary! She did some more MRI studying and came back in, saying that they were going to send me to see Dr. R...a spine physiatrist and pain consultant, within the same practice in order to have a discogram done - which is a test that injects dye into the discs one at a time in order to attempt to recreate the pain and determine where the pain is exactly coming from. This would determine the levels of the spine causing the issues (if it's from the discs) and help figure out which levels would be fused together, if that's the route that gives me the best outcome! s.c.a.r.y! So, the consult for the test is scheduled for June 14th then the test will be scheduled, completed, then it's back to Dr. B's to determine what will be the next course of action!
All that being said, it took a few days to process everything and come to terms with it all. Because it was the last thing I expected to hear, it took more time to get a grip on it. Now, I'm just looking forward to getting the test done and find out what's really going on!
This week, I finished up 4 months of PT. I'm sad to be done in a way because I had two amazing therapists...but because progress had stopped and I'm being followed by a few dr's right now, it was just decided that I had had enough and we'll go from there!
Whew, I think that about covers it. I'm tired of the pain...it seems to be getting worse as the weeks go on, so just hoping for some answers in the very near future!
Work was work when I returned...some things never change. However, pain started to increase sitting there for hours and hours. I was questioning the return to work - however, I guess it had to be done.
Therapy continued...I went to my follow up appt at the end of April in which it was determined that because there was still pain, another MRI would be done. They are usually repeated 3-4 months post-op if needed, which was the time frame I was in. May 15th, it was finally scheduled, and I got it done. I asked my referring dr to look at the results because I wasn't sure how long it would be before I heard from the surgeon (I had no followups scheduled-to my knowledge). Dr. D. looked at it and said there was still healing, no more stenosis, scar tissue but overall, there was improvement over my pre-op MRI. I thought, GREAT! So, I called Dr. B's nurse to see if I could get my results. She returned my call and said I had an appt May 27, that Dr. B didn't give results over the phone.....however, I knew nothing of that appt. So, I went in on the 27th and was prepared for good news, to hear just keep doing what I was doing and eventually the pain would stop. Boy, was I wrong!!
I saw her assistant again, which was fine because I always seem to have more time w/ her when I see her. While waiting in the room, I hard Dr. M. outside looking over the MRI results and possibly explaining what she was seeing to someone else. I could tell instantly that there wasn't going to be good news coming my way. She talked about how there were issues in multiple levels...just nothing positive. When she came in, she asked about PT and pain and such. About the only word that sticks in my head from the appt was "fusion/s". Fusions aren't something that I would have ever anticipated and it seems pretty scary! She did some more MRI studying and came back in, saying that they were going to send me to see Dr. R...a spine physiatrist and pain consultant, within the same practice in order to have a discogram done - which is a test that injects dye into the discs one at a time in order to attempt to recreate the pain and determine where the pain is exactly coming from. This would determine the levels of the spine causing the issues (if it's from the discs) and help figure out which levels would be fused together, if that's the route that gives me the best outcome! s.c.a.r.y! So, the consult for the test is scheduled for June 14th then the test will be scheduled, completed, then it's back to Dr. B's to determine what will be the next course of action!
All that being said, it took a few days to process everything and come to terms with it all. Because it was the last thing I expected to hear, it took more time to get a grip on it. Now, I'm just looking forward to getting the test done and find out what's really going on!
This week, I finished up 4 months of PT. I'm sad to be done in a way because I had two amazing therapists...but because progress had stopped and I'm being followed by a few dr's right now, it was just decided that I had had enough and we'll go from there!
Whew, I think that about covers it. I'm tired of the pain...it seems to be getting worse as the weeks go on, so just hoping for some answers in the very near future!
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